Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A Hitchiker's Guide to the Bums of Waco

If you are ever unfortunate enough to have to spend any time in Waco you will certainly meet some bums. Some people are uncertain as to how to deal with bums and/or are afraid of dirty poor people. To this end I have published the following guide to the bums of Waco. There are two basic groups of bums in Waco.

Homeless bum: This bum is not to be feared for you will never see a homeless bum (in Waco) talking to anyone except others bums. The one exception is Sunday when naive young Baylor students give the bums doughnuts and coffee in a feeble attempt to "fix" the bums.

Drug addict bum: These will compose the bulk of the bums you will meet. Drug addict bums are far and away the most annoying people ever. They lack any form of self respect and are willing to do anything for miniscule amounts of money. This type of bum is easily detected by their ludicrous stories about broken down cars that only need $5.00 dollars to be fixed.

Expert Tip:
Never give anything to drug addict bum; getting involved with drug addict bum will only bring trouble.
There are also some more advanced bums in Waco; another guide will be published shortly.

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